So, I got my blind friend a big Mac for his birthday, a week later he walked up to me and said "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
I have been reading this book about zero gravity I can’t seem to put it down
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What is the best way to end a cook book?
And that’s a wrap
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right know It’s impossible to put down
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Have you heard of the new book about Anti-Gravity? Well I just can't seem to put it down
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
my junk was in the book of world records until i got kicked out of the library
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
