Body jokes

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

I hate my life.

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

I think my penis has facial recognition.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?

Head & Shoulders.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Ur dick.

Penis, cheese, butt, cum.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

Don't you feel an empty feeling...

IN YOUR SKULL!

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.