Body jokes
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
Ur dick.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
I hate my life.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Penis, cheese, butt, cum.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Big mummy milkers...
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"