Body jokes

What's big and black?

My balls.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

I think my penis has facial recognition.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?

Head & Shoulders.

You know this joke really cracks up my bones!

Penis, cheese, butt, cum.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Daddy, where's my anus?

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.