Body jokes
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What’s under the bottom?
Your legs.
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
What do you call somebody with no nose?