Body jokes
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
Pussy, no pussy.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.