Body jokes
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Memes
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.