Body jokes
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
ITS THE APOCALYPSE
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
You're a fat poop poop!
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Nie cut G.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.