Body jokes
Clit
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
Yo mama is so fat, she turned all the mermaids to fishes!
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Nie cut G.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!