Body jokes

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

What has a head, a tail, but no body?

What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?

Names.

What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.

I got banana nut bread for you.

Oh no, the nuts are missing!

Oh, I found them!

You know where they are?

UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

What do you call somebody with no nose?

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.