Body jokes
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.
Penis and balls.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
What did the poo say to the ass?
"I left you."
Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Poop and balls through the walls!
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Your hairline is so big, it looks like the TITANIC.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
My balls.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.