Body jokes
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?
Fat moms.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
My penis is tied in a knot.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.