When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
life is like a game of chess, i don’t know how to play chess
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me. I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
Did you hear the passengers on the titanic invited yo! Momma and the titanic crew said man over board
I guess in British chess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without two towers
I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?
What do you call a white board that is dirty? A dirty white board.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team? He kept getting nailed to the boards
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos. I think I'll call it the The Cutting Board.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teens wrist have in common They both have cutting marks
Myla what did you do for fathers day Myla: i went to a restaurant Timmy what did you do for fathers day Timmy: i went to a concert Olivia what did you do for fathers day Olivia: talked to him through an ouija board
Why do orphans like monopoly: To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible? All of them are married!
Why cant orphans play monopoly
Because they never get a full house
tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Why did jesus not win any stanley cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards
We got a. Number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend’s gone down, I revived him now we’re heading southbound! Now we’re in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
