Board jokes
I'm a big fan of white boards. I find them... Remarkable.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
Chess board White: right Black: left Yellow: invading
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.