Board

Board Jokes

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess.

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board

“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep.

Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?

Turns out it was just a phase.

How many emos like anagrams?

Some.

What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

Emold.

What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?

They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

What do you call flat-chested emo?

A cutting board.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.

“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”

Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

How do you pull an emo from a tree?

Cut the rope.

What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?

They’re both white and flavourless.

What do emo birds call their mouths?

Bleaks.

What do you call an obese emo teen?

An edgelard.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

How are cats and emos different from one another?

The cat still has 8 other lives.

Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?

They are playing Fruit Ninja.

What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?

Sonic the Edgy hog.

Why would the emo swallow a clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why are Emos still around?

Because the suffering never ends.

What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?

You encourage them.

What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

A toaster.

What is the favourite game of an emo?

Hangman.

Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?

So it could cut itself.

A group of friends started an emo salsa band.

They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?

Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.