Board jokes
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
I'm a big fan of white boards. I find them... Remarkable.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.