Board jokes
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.