Watcher jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.

*I was actually up all night watching.*

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

What is one dream that Michael Joseph Jackson made come to life? He loved to say: "Somebody's watching me."

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"