Birth jokes

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

What day are twins born the most?

Toos-day.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

What is more time-consuming than children?

Waiting for your wife to go into labor!

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.

Their life is a joke.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

What's dumb?

The Fetus Deletus joke!

Fucking hate that joke....

When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.