Birth jokes
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
You were born out of your dad.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.