Birth jokes

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Boy: I'm dead.

Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?

Boy: No, I was just born this way.

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

Alabama.

Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.

Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.

The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"

The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."

Hahaha