Birth jokes

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

Boy: I'm dead.

Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?

Boy: No, I was just born this way.

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

What [is] another name for an abortion?

Canceling your delivery.

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Here [are] some questions firesharky:

1. What color hair do u have?

2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

3. What state [were] u born in?

Do not say I don't know.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."