Birth

Birth jokes

Baby

    • On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.

    The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"

    The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."

    Hahaha

    Lady

    • The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

    She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

    Birth memes

    Stork

    • Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

    His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

    Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

  • 1

    • Dad

    • My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

    Then I asked him how many years ago.

    He replied with, "When were you born?"

  • 0

    • Baby

    • So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

  • 3

    • Twin

    • A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

    Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

  • 0

    • Pregnancy

    • So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

    The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

    So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

  • 5

    • Baby

    • The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."

  • 5

    • Baby

    • A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.

    Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."

    Woman: "What's the bad news?"

    Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"

    Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"

    Dr: "It's dead!"

  • 0

    • Sister

    • What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

    Reply back with “Because you were born.”

    Mummy

    • Mummy, how was I born?

    Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."