What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
