Birth jokes

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.

Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"

The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."

Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"

The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."

Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.

What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?

I don't know. I suffocated at birth.

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

What is more time-consuming than children?

Waiting for your wife to go into labor!

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"