the thing my mom birthed
What do emos use as birth control? Their personalities!
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
life is karma... because I was born god gifted me with socially awkwardness, $#!t athletic skills, and stupidity
When you were born, you were so ugly, that the doctors slapped your parents. 👏🏻
my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:
i got it from her when i was born
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
Why are the Twin tower actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when got given birth too
A girl walks in the room she asks her my why's my name flower her mom said when you were born a flower fell on your head brick walks in the room jasvidnqzkdvsosbd
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy? The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
when you were born your mom said you were out of bounds so you went flying out of the hospital
What did the mom say when her child came out? "The head was so big"
What day are twins born the most Toos-day
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
