Birth jokes
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
I once gave birth to 3 children.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
Were you born on a highway? Because that is where most mistakes happen.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.