You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
