Bird jokes
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?