Bird jokes

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

When did I wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...

What do you call a bird with no wings?

Answer: A FLAP.

What do autistic retards and birds have in common?

They both flap their arms, lol.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?

A rhyming parrot.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

What do you call an animal flouting?

Super bird!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance!

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweet-ment!

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Answer:

To prove it wasn't chicken!