Bird jokes
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Memes
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?