Bird jokes
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!