Bird jokes

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What do birds use to check their grades?

Air-ies...

Why did the crows form a charity?

Because it's all for good caws!

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?

Because he is Stephen HAWKings.

I have a big cock.

What do birds and autistic people have in common?

They both flap their arms.

Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?

Yeah.

Why?

Because I got too obsessed with hares.

What do autistic retards and birds have in common?

They both flap their arms, lol.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

What is an owl that wears armor?

What bird is good at gaming? A game bird.

What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!

What did the swearing hen say?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

What did the cussing rooster say?

"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"