Bird jokes
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
A guard at a baseball stadium let in the pheasant, the chicken, and the duck. But he didn't let in the turkey. Why? Because four strikes and you are out!
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
I have a big cock.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.