Biology jokes
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.