Biology jokes
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!