Biology jokes
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.