There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Biology Jokes
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
God creates a mosquito :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.
Angel: weird... but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: .-.
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.