Bigness jokes
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.