Bigness jokes
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."