Beverage jokes

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Big tits.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

How do you make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!