Beverage jokes

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Big tits.

I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

What goes in small and soft?

And comes out big and hard?

A tea bag.

What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."