Beverage jokes
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.