Beverage jokes
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.