Beverage jokes
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."