Beverage jokes
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.