How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
