Beverage jokes
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.