Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
