Beverage jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Oh, he needs some milk!
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.