Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy." The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
