Beverage jokes
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.