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Three men die the same time and I'll go to heaven to go find St Peter St Peter says to them is going to be a long journey to heaven so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives we'll start with you Michael since you were quite the womanizer you and cheating on your on your wife multiple times you will be getting a Toyota the man embarrassed left in the Toyota Nolan you you were better you cheated on your wife twice so I will give you a Mercedes now for now as for you mark you never cheated on your wife you are an absolute saint so I will be giving you a Lamborghini and the Man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car and he and the Man in the Toyota what the hell is going on and the Man in the Lamborghini says I was through streets of Heaven and so my wife riding in roller skates
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺 DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
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My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
You wonder and you wonder grandma said you better go to bed now tell your dad and grandpa the and your dad and your mom
My phone was at 10% and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen hawkin
A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
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Which is better looking girls or women?
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(only Ninjago fans understand XD) if you look outside, and its really windy, its really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, cause it has to be Morro! XD
What's better a woman or a man
Neither for I am WHITE
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Roses are red violets are blue, like my hole uncle bill is making me full, better run here he comes.
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freshman - hey whats better ford or chevy. seinor - i dont fuckin care long as it drives. freshman - so im guessing its chevy
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So there’s this air purifier in my room right, and it’s really noisy so I unplugged it to sleep better and sure enough I fell asleep faster, so I came to the conclusion if I unplug noisy machines people will sleep better. It worked really well in my local hospital
kid just becomes an orphan, well i guess its better than being a hobo.
i heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your pringles
