Better Jokes

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A Pedo Peter.)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

VVD better than Sergio Ramos

Some guy asked me are you better then my meat, I said no im not better, i just beat it all the time

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed so I went to KFC instead, their monkey enclosure is better anyway

I told a Chinese man, which is better, Cats or dogs. He said dogs. I say why? He said because dogs tasted better Than cats

Roses are red Violets are fine Why is your life So much better then mine

is your refegir ruu\

is your refregerator running you, better go catch it

ning

Which tower is better at playing catch the south tower obviously it caught 2

Why emo grass is better then normal grass? Emo grass gonna cut themself

Post malone was in the hospitle but he is BETTER NOW.

Gwen lets chat at night for ab 1 hour! I want to get to know eachother better!

p.s its jake

why do tryhards use fennecs. it looks better than the octane

Where can white people cook better than Black people? On Father’s Day

DR. what is wrong with me? You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

What is better to have autism or down syndrome or ADHD?

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.