Better jokes

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.

You know, for his sake.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What's better, a woman or a man?

Neither, for I am WHITE.

Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which is better looking, girls or women?

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)

If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.