Best jokes
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
That do be me though
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
Q. What's the best part about 28 year olds?
A. There's 20 of them!
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?
I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.