Best Jokes

whats the best way to get an emo out of a tree

Cut the rope

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

Where is the best place to eat tacos?

In the Gulp of Mexico.

Best thing ever right here

So there is this app on your phone called ringer go into it there is a 12-15 digit number enter that into my phone my dick will get 12- 15 inches longer

So my ex who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

The image is a four panel comic. In the first panel, an ant is shown happily eating a crumb, thinking "Man, these are the best crumbs I've ever had!!" In the second panel, a man looks shocked, exclaiming "Ayoo dude no wayy!!" In the third panel, the man is holding up a sock with white fluid on it, saying, "I thought I lost this cum sock ages ago!!" The fourth panel shows a close-up of the ant, now with a disgusted expression.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

Ching chong kading dong.

(My best words ever used).

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

Your life is the best joke ever

They Laughed At My Crayon Drawing...

I Laughed At Thier Chalk Out Line.

😏

mum is the best

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

5 knock knock jokes from best to corny

1.Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door. 2.Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in! 3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in? 4.Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who! 5.Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho

so my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I'd told her a 'single' joke then she said," Go and fucking die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," *sniff* yes".