Best jokes
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.