Best

Best jokes

Fruit

    • Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

    So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

    They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

  • 3

    • Sex

    • My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.

  • 57

    • Gay

    • Girls Are Yummy Stupid

    Are Really Erectable

    Tasty Honey Ejaculable

    Booty Everything Sucking Titties

    Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

  • 9

    • Shark

    • Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

    Because dead babies make the best chum! :)

  • 0

    • Part

    • What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

  • 1

    • Sex

    • What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

    There's twenty of them!

  • 0

    • Sex

    • What's the best part of having sex with a baby?

    Deep throat and anal at the same time.

  • 6

    • Suicide

    • A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

  • 0

    • Pedophile

    • What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

  • 0

    • Sun

    • North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

    Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

    The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

    Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

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