Best jokes

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them!

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)

What is the best type of snake?

A dead one.

What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?

Cauliflower.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?

When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

How would you best describe prostate cancer?

Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!

Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.