To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
