Best jokes
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Q. What's the best part about 28 year olds?
A. There's 20 of them!
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
Best way to do it.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?