Best jokes
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.