Belief jokes
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
Religion
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
ICH BIN GOTT.