How do you confuse a ginger?
Throw a cross at them.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
