Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
ICH BIN GOTT.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
