Being jokes
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"
who else
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Imagine being emo.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
Bro, just imagine being named Brynley. Couldn't be me.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
A true God would be godless himself.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"