Being jokes

What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?

They are both nowhere to be found.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

Don't be scared of skeletons.

They don't have the guts for murder.

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?

Because they wanna be wanted.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.

Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.