Being jokes

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.

Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

Being pro-life.

I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

What do you say to an upset German?

Quit being such a sauerkraut!

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?

Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?

Being a bitch.

Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.

Why do you need an AR-15?

So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!

A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”

A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”

The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”

Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”