Being jokes

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."

What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?

Trick question, emo is a handicap.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

How many beans are there in Irish chili?

Answer: 239

Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.

Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.

Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?

Because they can't add a home page.

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!

Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!