Being jokes

Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

There is an upside to being an orphan.

Every bag of chips is family size.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)

If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!

What is a difference between a tree, a tree house, that has to be the difference between a tree 🌲 from the tree house that has a difference in a tree tree house that is yuyi?

There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I hate double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"